HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLA 1 YEAR OLD

So I should be asleep right now resting for another busy day at work but I had to post before it becomes the 14th. You see, today one year ago, was a very special day. I woke up early that day, it was a Monday. We left for the hospital at about seven AM. When we arrived the nurses induced labor and the contractions (that I had baan having for three months) began to get stronger. 13 and a half hours later I was still there, still laboring, and still no epidural. I hit a certain point they call "transition" and I couldn't take it. I asked for an epidural. After I recieved the medicine, I had a comtraction, and that was Kayla ready to meet us. Well about 20 minutes later there she was. A tiny angel was placed on my tummy. Her eyes peered up at me and I was speechless. I felt so close to Heavenly Father at that moment. Kayla didn't cry, she just looked and looked at us. Sean and I were both in tears. How could we have ever known the impact that this perfect little thing could have on us? Sean sat up late into that night holding and rocking Kayla, his eyes never quite dried up. From the moment I looked in to her eyes, I knew that Kayla was meant to come to us. We have learned so much in the past year. No one told me that you completely re -fall in love with your husband when you see the sweet relationship he builds with his daughter. I think of the way that I feel about my dad and I feel grateful Kayla has a special dad. I think of the relationship that I have with my mom and I realize how much my mom really loves me and suddenly understand why. Life is a gift. I am so happy to partake.

Snuggle

This makes me want to snuggle kayla all day!!

More Peas Please!

Kayla has finally discovered the finer things in life.. peas! They are the perfect size for little fingers and straight out of the can they are the perfect texture to gum and swallow.

She becomes a little bit cheakier every day. It suddenly hit me the other day that she will never be a newborn again. When I thought of this my heart was filled with a bitter- sweet feeling. I thought of the hours that I held her and held her when she was a newborn. With all the joy that comes from seeing milestones unfold, there is also a sense of sadness knowing that there will be no growing younger, only growing up.

Optimism is Contagious

Have you ever seen a cuter bum?

The past few days I have been reflecting on a few moments from my youth. I remember thinking that I would always be a kid. One of my fondest memories was our first backpacking trip with my dad. We loaded up the green VW bus with all the backpacking gear. Those present were Rachel, Sarah, myself, Jared, and of course, my dad. It was a three day weekend and so we planned to spend it backpacking. With stout spirits and high hopes of adventures, we set off up the rocky trail. We began to sing as we hiked but soon grew winded and just hiked. We laughed a long the trail. Sarah and Jared prided themselves on being the fastest hikers and my dad accepted he was the slowest. Rachel and I ended up somewhere in the middle. A long the trail we would stop and hydrate. Dad was always reminding us. I remember seething with jealousy that my scrawny little brother Jared (who, by the way, I could beat up) was a faster hiker than me. He was only 8 but man, that kid could hike. When we reached the camping spot we set up the tents and started a fire. We were thrilled to be there. After singing around a fire for hours, we finally went to bed. I had no idea what time it was when I woke up but it was not light outside. I was drenched. I could hear the rain on the tent. I woke up Sarah. She was drenched too. I unzipped my sleeping bag and found about 2 inches of water pooled inside our tent. Everyone was awake. My dad tried hurriedly to fasten the rain flies but they did not seem to do any good. We were all soaking wet. We had to tough it out. We tried our best to sleep wet but non of us slept hardly at all. When it became light we came out of our tents. Dad was up getting some hot water ready for us to have oatmeal. We all ate soaked to the bone. We were having a great time. Sarah began to bellow a silly song and we all sang a long. We talked about what an adventure we were having. The next day we packed up to hike back to the car. The whole way back we sang and sang. Our packs were completely waterlogged and so heavy we could hardly walk. We laughed and carried on as we hiked on the rain.

As I reflect on this story I think about the fact that optimism is contagious. This life is so short and there are so many that need help being optimistic. Trials and hardships may come and that is why we need each other to lean on. Every change you get, have fun, sing, and spread the optimism!

I love Sleep, I want it back!

Just thought I would write a little blurb of an update regarding my little "miracle." So she started teething about three weeks ago. She has baan up all night every night for three weeks straight. Sean and I walk around with circles under our eyes every day! Finally one tooth popped through on Saturday.. Yay, finally! But we still have one little stinker that won't pop the skin. Therefore, we are still extremely sleep deprived! BUT.. last night I decided I HAVE to try everything I can to help her sleep. Sooo, I gave her a long bath, dug up a big box fan, gave her some ibuprofin and started her nightly ritual. After nursing and rocking her for an hour (I know I need to get her to go to sleep on her own but I am tired of the battle.) I tried putting her down at least 5 times and she woke up screaming. Finally, in desperation I swaddled her super tight (she was fighting me) and bounced her to sleep. Then mmmm, she went down. With the box fan making some nice loud white noise, I hoped for the best. While tucking myself in to bed at about 11, I heard her fuss and I prayed so hard that she would go back to sleep. She did. Guess what!! I woke up at seven for work and the little pumpkin was still sleeping! Then when I left at 7:30, she was STILL sleeping SOUNDLY! This may not be the start to a full nights sleep on a regular basis but I have to say, I feel great today! I love the little cherib.

(Sean is the one that gets up with her at night when she is crying so he was stoked too)

My Little Miracle

8 months ago a miracle happened. Kayla was born (she is only 10 minutes old in this picture). Since then my life has never been the same. Instead of arriving home from work and thinking about how hungry I am I now grab Kayla and make sure she is fed first. Rather than planning out a Saturday full of errands, a movie, and staying up late, I am thinking about Kayla's schedule. Now, when I see a newborn, it is not just another baby but I can now see the miracle in every baby. A baby is a lot if work, I won't lie. No longer are my nights mine, but hers. I have no choice about how much sleep I will get. But who could have even known the happiness that came from bringing a new life in to the world. Every smile, every hug, every time I hold her when she sleeps, I melt in to my realm of bliss. There is nothing like it. Nothing.

Lip Sucker

I should totally be in bed right now, as should this sweet little angel in my arms. You know I have recently come to realize that there are far too many "shoulds" in life. I am constantly reminding myself that, the more "shoulds" I add to my daily thinking, the less content I become. Instead, we must focus on what "is." Focus on the things that make our lives whole.

So Kayla has started sucking on her top lip. It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Sean and I laugh so hard so I thought all of you might enjoy it as well.

What a little joy.

I must apologize to all for the lack of contact I have given as of late. Working full time, mothering, taking care of all the demands life throws my way has been kicking my butt. I truly love you all and think of you often!

Rachel sent a gift to Kayla. It was a hooded blankie, three fuzzy blankies, a little teddy bear, a hair wrap, and two pairs of socks. As you can see she loved them. She wanted to hold everything at once. Kayla is growing right before our eyes. It seems like every day I look at her and I notice a change. She is starting to sit up better and roll. I am sure she will be crawling before we know it!! I went back to work full time and Sean is staying with Kayla and going to school. It is really hard being away from her but even harder to find time to post blogs! I am doing my best and give my love to all! Just thought you might want to see her.

There is still Good in The World

I write this with all due respect. There are many that say they do not want to bring children into this troubled world. The reasons are valid. As a world, we face fighting, genocides, wars, and turmoil. Why should we bring children into such a world? Then I look into the face of my daughter and I know that there must be a reason. All religious belief aside, as adults, we are the ones that need children. We need them to remember how much we can love. We need them to fall even more deeply in love with our spouses when we see how much they can love a child too. We need them to be reminded of the beautiful simplicity that is left in this world. The shelter from the global struggle is in the eyes of our children. They can teach us once again the good that will always prevail.

I love this little girl.

Intensity

When I saw the outcome of this picture, I laughed so hard! I thought I wouldn't see faces like this until somewhere around the teen years!!

I love to look into those dark blue eyes. I often wonder what she would say if she could talk. Would it be sassy, gentle, insightful, or funny?

Life is Good is a climbing outerwear brand. I hope we can all live by it's logo!

Okay I couldn't post without a smiling picture too! She is growing so fast. At this point she almost seems frustrated because she can't walk or run. She always needs to stand in my lap or kick on the floor. It seems she is becoming so much more aware of her surroundings! She is starting to cry when I leave the room, makes me feel loved!

What a Cutie!!

I do not know if any of you agree, but I do believe this is the cutest picture I have ever seen in my entire life. This little girl is my joy. Her newest thing is her bedtime ritual. I get her ready for bed and lay her down awake. She will lay there for about 20 minutes staring at the wall and trying to wiggle her legs inside her swaddle. We will then hear her begin to make squeeking noises. After a little bit I will go in there and say "sweetheart, it's time to sleep." As soon as she sees my face she puts on the biggest smile. I melt every time. This will happen about two times before she goes to bed. The best part is that we never need to pick her up, just remind her it's bedtime and tell her we love her.. just one more time.

Blessing Day

This wasn't set up to impress, he really does change daipers.. every day! I love how tiny she looks compared to her daddy, it's adorable!

Kayla had her Father's Blessing on Sunday. It was so awesome to hear Sean give her a blessing and hear all the things in words that we desire so much for her in life. Before we know it she will be eight and wearing her baptism dress. That blessing dress will seem so tiny then.

The Brother of Jared

My little brother Gideon just went into the MTC last week. Gideon is the middle boy in the family. He is a number of things, the "peace maker", the "comedian", "Jared's right hand man", "Mr. Suave", a "lover of the otter pops", "video game goo roo", "life of the party", "Katie's boyfriend", and much much more. Whatever he may be to each of us, we will miss him dearly and know the Atlanta Georgia Mission will NEVER be the same! We love ya Gid!!

Okay, obviously there is something that Kayla thinks is really really funny. One of the best things about a baby's smile is that it is always genuine. Us adults, we smile because it's polite, or it's the appropriate thing to do. Babies, on the other hand, only smile when they are happy.

My New Beanie and Booties

Okay, I really couldn't resist sticking these in there. My friend Tanya made these matching booties and beanie for baby Kayla (thanks Tanya!). I was so excited to try them on her and when I did I couldn't stop taking pictures. In the beanie picture Kayla was on the floor playing, flexing her legs out and laughing. She looks so cute in pink!! Kissable.

The beanie is also a plus because Kayla becomes more bald every day. We call her slick. I'm sure her poor head gets cold!

Life is Good

Every time I come across someone I know they look at Kayla and say "Wow, she is beautiful, she looks just like Sean!" My internal reactions are usually 'geez doesn't she have something of mine?' It has been said that God made little girls look like their dads so their dads would love them, well He's done a pretty good job this time because I must admit, she is a spitting image of her daddy!!

A Christmas to Remember

This has been the best Christmas yet. Even though this little girl has no idea it's even going on, Christmas has a different spirit about it when there is such this special gift so new from heaven. We spent Christmas Eve at Sean's parent's house. It is always a blast being over there but this year was extra fun with the "Cops" marathon on TV. We enjoyed the anticipation of Santa's arrival with the fast- paced action! Christmas definately snuck up on us this year but turned out to be a blast. I must say, the best part was seeing our little "present" under the tree!!Kayla is a happy happy girl. She smiled for the first time at three weeks and hasn't stopped since!! This is the first true smile captured on camera. As first time parents we are loving every smile and look of excitement we see. She is such a beautiful baby with lots of spirit. She seems to have a mind of her own and is very content. I think the thing that surprises us the most is her bedtime ritual; She will be fed, burped, changed, and swaddled. We then kiss her, lay her in her crib and she will lay there awake until she falls asleep, without a sound. This has been her nature since day one!! I really have no idea where this kid came from. I have been told not to count my chickens as things can so quickly change this early in the game!