HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLA 1 YEAR OLD

So I should be asleep right now resting for another busy day at work but I had to post before it becomes the 14th. You see, today one year ago, was a very special day. I woke up early that day, it was a Monday. We left for the hospital at about seven AM. When we arrived the nurses induced labor and the contractions (that I had baan having for three months) began to get stronger. 13 and a half hours later I was still there, still laboring, and still no epidural. I hit a certain point they call "transition" and I couldn't take it. I asked for an epidural. After I recieved the medicine, I had a comtraction, and that was Kayla ready to meet us. Well about 20 minutes later there she was. A tiny angel was placed on my tummy. Her eyes peered up at me and I was speechless. I felt so close to Heavenly Father at that moment. Kayla didn't cry, she just looked and looked at us. Sean and I were both in tears. How could we have ever known the impact that this perfect little thing could have on us? Sean sat up late into that night holding and rocking Kayla, his eyes never quite dried up. From the moment I looked in to her eyes, I knew that Kayla was meant to come to us. We have learned so much in the past year. No one told me that you completely re -fall in love with your husband when you see the sweet relationship he builds with his daughter. I think of the way that I feel about my dad and I feel grateful Kayla has a special dad. I think of the relationship that I have with my mom and I realize how much my mom really loves me and suddenly understand why. Life is a gift. I am so happy to partake.

Snuggle

This makes me want to snuggle kayla all day!!

My Little Miracle

8 months ago a miracle happened. Kayla was born (she is only 10 minutes old in this picture). Since then my life has never been the same. Instead of arriving home from work and thinking about how hungry I am I now grab Kayla and make sure she is fed first. Rather than planning out a Saturday full of errands, a movie, and staying up late, I am thinking about Kayla's schedule. Now, when I see a newborn, it is not just another baby but I can now see the miracle in every baby. A baby is a lot if work, I won't lie. No longer are my nights mine, but hers. I have no choice about how much sleep I will get. But who could have even known the happiness that came from bringing a new life in to the world. Every smile, every hug, every time I hold her when she sleeps, I melt in to my realm of bliss. There is nothing like it. Nothing.

Mothers Day

As you can see, this post was added at 2:30AM. I am not an insomniac and I am WISHING I were curled up in bed with the covers up to my neck dreaming sweetly of fond memories. But I am sitting at the computer with Kayla in my lap seeming completely uninterested in anything related to sleep! I do not think that I truly appreciated what my mother did for me until I too have indulged in the unconditional love that causes you to be so sleep deprived that you begin to think you might die, yet you still have the strength to kiss and love that sweet little thing all the way into the early morning hours. So Mom, thank you so much! I don't think I am going to do this 9 times but thank you for being the amazing woman you are for all of us. I love you and Happy Mothers Day!

There is still Good in The World

I write this with all due respect. There are many that say they do not want to bring children into this troubled world. The reasons are valid. As a world, we face fighting, genocides, wars, and turmoil. Why should we bring children into such a world? Then I look into the face of my daughter and I know that there must be a reason. All religious belief aside, as adults, we are the ones that need children. We need them to remember how much we can love. We need them to fall even more deeply in love with our spouses when we see how much they can love a child too. We need them to be reminded of the beautiful simplicity that is left in this world. The shelter from the global struggle is in the eyes of our children. They can teach us once again the good that will always prevail.

I love this little girl.

The Best of Both Worlds

I recently started working part time at the job I had prior to Kayla's birth. At first I was worried she would stop functioning normally or be mad at me for leaving her but she is still as happy as ever! I think the time that Sean has to stay with her while I go to work is priceless. I came home from work the other morning to find Kayla laughing hysterically while Sean held her above his head, making rocket ship sounds. She is in love and Sean definitely has a second love of his life!!
Lately I have been pondering on the moments we have at hand. While Sean is in school and working full time and with me working part time, we are as poor as they come! We live with a prayer that we can make it to the next time we get paid (a tough thing to admit) :) However, we have recently come to the true realization that there will one day come a time when we are older and (hopefully) are comfortable with money. At these moments we will look sweetly upon this time in our lives. The smell of an infant or the magical sound of those baby giggles. The way they sleep so peacefully in your arms. Nothing else can compare to this sort of beauty. We are soaking up each day as we stumble through our hectick life, knowing that we have a gift that is greater than any amount of money could ever buy.

She's a Gift From Heaven

Having a baby has been a big adjustment! I have been accustomed to living a life of adventure always succeeding in the workplace, achieving good grades in college and thriving on always having a book or project I am working on. When Kayla was born I was surprised at how much I could love such a little tiny thing. I have come to truly realize that this is what I am meant to do. Just love and take care of this little baby. Sometimes I look at her when she is sleeping like this picture and tears fill my eyes. I am awe struck that heaven has entrusted me with this little gem!