Promises

Often my studying stares me right in the face and I refuse to look back at it.
Sometimes I feel as though I am drowning in my world where priorities are a problem.
What do I do? Study for the test that I have to take tomorrow, take time to have a conversation with my three year old, go running, cycling, clean, organize? I haven't figured it out, I really haven't.

I organized Kayla's toys.

I took Kayla swimming.

After we swam, you wanted cotton candy they sell there. I let you choose. Cotton candy or ice cream cone. You chose cotton candy. I told you that we were still going to get an ice cream cone for Auntie and I. You still chose cotton candy.
You cried when we got ice cream cones and I wanted to get one for you more than anything in the world. It ripped my heart out, not sure exactly why. Maybe it hurt because that's our special time to have ice cream together after we swim. I knew I couldn't give in though, Kayla. Boundaries are important. If I don't stick to what I say, how will you ever know I will be consistent with anything else in life? If I promise I will be there when you need to talk, you can believe me. When I say I won't forsake you because of mistakes you make, you can believe me. If I say I will take away your driving privileges because you stay out too late, you can believe me.
I don't make rules and stick to my promises because it's easy for me, I do it because I love you. I do it because, one day, when I tell you that making good choices will make you happy, you will believe me.