TWINS!

(above) Both baby heads.

(above) baby #1

(above) baby #2

I am going to tell you the story about one of the most pivotal moments of my entire life.

I came in to the midwives office for my 14 week appointment.
I waited anxiously in the waiting room, excited about the ultrasound we would have today. I was excited to see the little bean in my belly.
I was called back and waited in the checkup room. When the midwife came in, she measured me right away and said "wow, you have grown a lot since I saw you last." I didn't think much of it.
She brought out the Doppler and began to listen to the heartbeat. As she listened, the Doppler moved and I thought I heard the heart rhythm change slightly. I didn't think much of that either but I believe we were hearing one heartbeat and then the second heartbeat.
As she was wrapping up, I asked if I was still going to have the ultrasound she had told me about last appointment. She said she had to hurry back to a delivery but the other midwife could do the ultrasound. In came Nancy. She brought Sean, Kayla and I back to the ultrasound room. I sat on the table, excited to see the baby.
When she put the machine on my tummy, we instantly saw the profile.
Suddenly Sean said "are there two heads?"
I laughed at his "humor" and so did the midwife.
I gazed at the tiny little profile as she showed us the heartbeat and moved to the spine.
Suddenly, as she moved the scanner, the baby's body was flipped the other way.
I thought "uh, that's weird."
She then moved the scanner back the other direction and the baby was flipped back in the same position.
Then the words came. So calmly and factual: "You know what, there are two babies in there." Those words spoken by that midwife will forever be embedded in my heart and mind in a place that is so permanent, only a few special things can be placed there.
All I could do was say "Oh my gosh, oh my GOSH" Tears streamed down my face as I laughed at the same time.
I stared at the screen.
She took a picture of the two little heads on opposite sides of the uterine home.
My heart was so full of joy and shock.
I looked over at Sean who looked just as shocked.
I told Kayla we were having two babies and she responded "mom, I know, I was listening."
After the appointment, we were still taking it all in.
We called my mom and Sean's mom first. Both calls were met with disbelief and overjoy.
I called my entire family, I have told a hundred strangers, I have wanted to tell the whole world.
I am in love. All I can think about are the two of them kicking, growing, grimacing, and happy.
My life will be sleepless, outingless, datenightless, and in sane. However, my heart is overflowing with joy. I cannot begin to describe how I feel inside. I cry every time I really think about that ultrasound, I tear up every time I think about meeting these two babies.
I am praying hard for a healthy pregnancy and two healthy babies.
Thank you Heavenly Father for this precious gift.

Gifts for Breakfast

Kayla and her daddy have been very good to mommy.
Kayla wakes up in the morning and comes in with a request for daddy to turn on the TV.
Request granted.
She then watches TV and plays quietly for at least an hour.
When she gets hungry for breakfast, she either goes upstairs to investigate if her Oma or Opa are up and eating or she comes in and requests daddy come and have breakfast with her.
Lately, Kayla has an obsession with gift giving.
She loves to put things in gift bags and tissue and give them to anyone who will receive.
She smiles gleefully at surprise and delight painted on the faces of recipients.
This morning, after her normal routine of TV time and letting mommy sleep, she came in the room with some gifts for me. Among them were, ponies, hair ties, books, and other various objects.
I opened them with big eyes and exclaimed "Kayla, this is what I have always wanted!"
Kayla would give me a kiss on the forehead after I looked at every gift.
This girl. She came to me straight from Heaven.

Today, I received an email from some development website and it stated 7 different ways your child shows they love you.
One of the ways listed was gift giving.
I hope she knows how much I love her too.

The lime: bitter yet sweet.

Today, our baby is the size of a lime.

I find it particularly difficult to blog these days.
It means I have to apply my creative mind.
Lately, I have wondered if I have any brain at all.
I think about journaling the funny things Kayla will say.
I ponder on the beauties of motherhood, the insanity of school, the blessing of pregnancy, and the quest to do what is right.
All worth writing about.
Yet I struggle to do much but the minimum. You can often find my laying on the floor while Kayla plays hairdresser on me, me secretly dozing.
Often I want to do nothing but lay in bed.
Cooking is a task I haven't been able to tackle in a few months.
It's common for me to suddenly start throwing up while I am doing a simple daily task.
When we decided it was finally time to add more to our family, I knew pregnancy would not be a walk in the park for me by any means.
Yet, my heart is full of joy.
There is a little person growing inside me. This time, I really know the magnitude of love I will feel when I look in to those precious little eyes for the first time.
This little muffin I'm cooking is such a blessing. I love that little one even now. I daydream about it everyday.
3 months down and six to go.
Exhausted, cranky, and sick but I couldn't be happier.

All I really want is a sliced cucumber dipped in honey mustard dressing.
I have one upstairs.
But I am too tired to actually act upon my desire.
What a sad life I live...I better go to bed.